December 6, 2017

How A Pair of Shoes Helped Me Gain Confidence

When I was in pre-school I used to crawl around on my hands and knees holding onto wooden blocks. Against the linoleum floor the blocks would click and clop as I pretended to be a horse. I’d slowly make my way around the play area until the teacher told me to stop and play with the blocks the correct way.

I think perhaps that is where my love for the sound of heeled shoes against hard floors comes from. It’s just one of those little things that brings me a silly sense of joy. It’s satisfying to me in the way that slime videos are satisfying. To me, it sounds powerful and deliberate. I think that’s half the reason why I was always so envious of people who can actually walk in heels.

Last Sunday I was at my brother’s house, making my way to the refrigerator, and I recognized that sound. I stopped my train of thought to listen to the way I walked across the kitchen floor. I’d been wearing my wedged booties quite often so I was fairly practiced with them. Those shopping trips full of tired toes was paying off. Here I was, clacking across the floor with purpose and pride. Sure, it was only just to get myself some iced tea, but man did I mean it.

In that moment of realizing that I could produce such a sound with my walk, a confidence swept over me. I felt strong in those shoes. I felt solid and powerful, like I knew exactly what I was doing. The shoes became an extension of myself. I realized that clothes can be something more than just things to make us look nice.

Clothing can make us the person we want to be if we let it. I finally get that saying, “dress for the career you want.” Standing in a kitchen on a Sunday night, I felt like I could call myself a fashion blogger. I won’t take any more credit than I deserve, as I’ve just started out. However, it took that realization for me to finally feel like I’m wearing the shoes that I’m meant to be wearing. Although this wasn’t the path I thought I would take, although fashion always seemed out of reach, I feel like a whole new world of opportunity and creativity is opening up for me. I’m a fashion blogger. I’m a consumer of the world and an artist and a creator. I can indeed do whatever I put my mind to. My confidence might be a work-in-progress, but it sure as hell is progressing.

Thanks to those shoes, I have gained the boldness to strut across the floor, even when I’m barefoot. 

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